I have been out of commission for a while. Since July to be exact. Nothing serious really just a bad case of the I write amazing things in my head and can't remember squats. I think all great writers go through this, I should ask one.

I feel like I am ready to burst with creativity. Unfortunately I can't draw, sing, dance, paint or play an instrument so my outlet is writing.   Ok, I CAN draw, sing, dance, paint, and play an instrument BUT you would not want to be a part of that!

The last time I drew a picture of the master bed/bath it ended up looking like a penguin in a suit. Perhaps I should try to draw a penguin in a suit and I will get my master bed/bath.

Anyway it isn't like I haven't been thinking of writing and even attempting it off and on since July, it's more like the words I write end up like my drawing of the master bed/bath...unrecognizable.

Since the dogs have been corralled it has cut down on the random body parts and dead animals showing up. That has cut down on the fun times we had playing tug of war with a spine. Just because they can't go run amok annoying the neighborhood doesn't mean they haven't been insane.

Every morning when the other half gets up the dogs go CRAZY! He gets to grab some coffee and begin the morning ritual of throwing the jolly ball (what's left of the second one) or the worm head (it  was a head from a stuffed toy). Tally runs as fast as she can after it with Truman in tow and then they both grab it and run back to the couch together. When Tally gets it on her own she runs as fast as she can to the couch launching herself on to it while spinning around and slamming her not so little butt right in the other half's chest. EVERY SINGLE MORNING we go through this for approximately 30 minutes.

The dogs are insane and bounce off the walls, He throws the ball or head and I get to drink my coffee and laugh. I am not sure I could think of a better way to start my mornings.

I have been very blessed with my family. A man I am crazy about, a son who couldn't be any more wonderful (better at mowing yes) and 4 stupid pets who crack me up more often than not.

I am back!

I am back on Twitter. Big deal huh? As I was logging in I felt a sense of grandness. Like I have all these profound, funny, inspiring and moving things to say. Once I was logged in all I could think of was "don't do drugs". Important? Yes. Profound, funny, inspiring and moving? No.

I "write" all day long in my head. It is some pretty amazing stuff too. When I sit down to put my thoughts on paper or screen I tend to get writers block. It is like taking a test. I go blank and then I just stare at the paper or screen and drool. I am sure I am not the only one who has this problem. I think my problem is the whole "it has to be epic to be worth a crap" and as we both know not much, if anything, I write is epic. So here I sit. Waiting for those amazing thoughts to flow out of my brain, down my arms, through my fingers to the keys of the computer so YOU can be WOWED!  Instead of relaxing and letting it flow I get all tense and questioning.

Anyway the point to this blog is that I got back on Twitter. Why the heck would I do that? Well, I am not sure. I felt compelled or something like that. Same reason I started a blog I guess.

I am on Facebook less and on Pinterest and Linkedin more. I feel happier and less stress because of this.

Today on Linkedin I ran across another blogger, author, actress by the name of Angela Shelton. It was because of her I felt compelled to get back on Twitter, I am not sure why though.

I read an article/blog she had posted on Linkedin. It was exactly what I needed today. I feel as though my new mantra is Carpe Diem (seize the day for those of you that don't know that) and it was partly or mostly because of this
http://angelashelton.com/101-ways-to-move-on/?utm_content=bufferc3929&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkedin.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Of course I started to follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and her blog.
I need more funny positive in my life. Not just the rah rah cheerleadery crap that I don't buy in to.

If you are so inclined you can follow me on Twitter :-)  my name is tnicky75.

It's JUST laundry!

My goodness you would think that keeping up with laundry was like asking me to eat a coconut pie with a side of chocolate whatever!
It is just laundry!
I have a washer and a dryer. In. My. House.
I do not have to load up clothes and walk 5 mile to the creek or crick and bang them on a rock while eating my skin away with lye soap.
I don't have to keep my eyes open for laundry doing woman eating bear.

It isn't like the other is really out of clean underwear. They are in the process of being put away, as in they are in a basket which is probably still in the laundry room and it now has dirty clothes on top of it so I have to look in the dryer and see what I haven't "folded" yet.

Why in the world is this task so difficult for me to stay on top of?

I feel accomplished when I look around and see no dirty clothes or clean clothes waiting for me to do SOMETHING with them. I like the fact that the other doesn't have to look in a drawer or in a closet and then sigh and ask "where is my ______".

Still it seems like I am faced with climbing a mountain and I just  can't   do  it.

I have been doing laundry since I was in second grade, yes second. I shit you not. I wasn't "helping" I was "doing". I didn't get to throw it in the dryer unless it was winter, I had to hang it out on the line. LAME. Maybe that is why I have such a disdain for laundry, might as well add dishes in there too.

You may have noticed I did not mention the 15yr old and his laundry. It is his responsibility. He is 15 and quite capable of carrying his basket down the stairs and running the machines. He is also in charge of the dishes (dishwasher).

I think we need to come up with disposable clothes, like paper plates and plastic cups. That would make my life easier. Oh wait, I don't like shopping either. Oh hell

I did it!

I did a couple its actually and the other will happy to know that laundry was one of them  :-)
To the REAL its though.

1) I volunteered yesterday with my not-mom-in-law at the community center where they have pb&j, chips, cookies and water to hand out to the kids who come play b-ball. This is a good thing for these kids because it is in a lower class area of Topeka and these kids need a place to hang out with positive influences, I am exempt from the influence part :-)

2) I braided my hair!! Not great but I did it. Not some fancy schmansy braid just a regular start at my neck three strand braid. BOOM!!!

3) I have narrowed down my tattoo ideas. Still keeping those in an un-locked vault because I am not 100% sure yet but if you cared enough to ask I would probably tell you.

4) I am enrolled in an entrepreneur class thingy with one of my not-sister-in-laws and I am also enrolled in business classes. I have gone as far as I can on what I already knew, now time for some education!

5) I changed my privacy settings on FB to the most private and then I LOGGED OFF MY PHONE!!! I have been un-plugging from FB for a few days at a time but find myself picking up my phone and scrolling through. I am walking away from it unless I am on my computer and check in for a minute. People can text or email me if they want to chat. Don't call, I don't like to talk on the phone. It is a bit to much like being in person.

6) Narrowed down color combos for the hall bath and master bed/bath. I also started taking down the hall bath tiles.

Don't get all paraisey and be like "good job!" and stuff. I didn't do this all in one day, it has been like Rome. Only not as cool or foreign. It is a work in progress and a step forward after which I need a nap then I stumble 15-20 steps back.

May your days be filled with many steps forward and long glorious naps that leave you happy and refreshed!

Weedy, just weedy!

So what started out as a weed pulling expedition turned in to a rip roaring, back muscle pulling good time!  I did not pull a muscle pulling weeds. I pulled it when I moved the 20somethingish hunk of limestone for my new flower/rock/something bed I inadvertently began to build last Thursday.

This is not a Pinterest project like the hallway closet is, this was a legitimate on a whim "hey this will be fun and easy" project I flung myself in to.  I started this project with the intentions of turning the current mud/weed bed in to something that at least looked better. The electric box is over there also so I was going to make a stone path for them to step on so they did not step on any flowers/vines that I MIGHT put there.

I started out using one side that the previous owners had down but alas, like everything else they did here it was askew. I do not care for askew unless it is MEANT to be that way and done properly.  :-)

After I got half way done with the askew project (trying to make the best of it) I was told by the other that while standing on the deck you can tell it is not straight, big time. He knows me and told me that it is better I know now instead of when I am finished because I will curse and huff and puff and re-do it anyway.

So I began undoing all the do I had done. (yes I meant for the sentence to say that)  That meant I had to take out the 12ish limestone pieces I had already placed. Not only had I placed them but I had been digging a trench of sorts so that they would all be even. I had to dig more and move more and the stones are a good 50lbs. I thought "man, I am a badass and getting a great workout!"  Take that Tony Horton and P90X!!  Thursday went swimminglyish, I did not get injured, stones got moved and put in place and I felt great about the whole project. Then Friday happened.  I was out moving and digging and moving some more and I felt a twinge. I told the other "I think I pulled a muscle" he answered that I probably had. End of convo. I kept moving 5 or so more stones and digging more dirt, also digging out around the stumps I have to cut out so that that they don't poke my weed mat full of holes.

Pretty soon the simplest thing such as moving my arm made me cringe. I REALLY hurt my back, for really real. Not a oh that stung a bit. It is a real INJURY! Holy crap! It hurt to walk and even to breathe. I texted the other that I REALLY hurt my back and had to come in and plant myself in bed. It has been 5 days and  I have been a horrible patient. I am not good at laying in bed. I am learning that I won't get better unless I rest though and the rest of my back and neck are making up for the injured muscles causing me to ache all over and have raging headaches.

I have been on facebook more (sad to admit) while laying there. BORED. I am reading a couple of books and watching the series Vikings, which is AWESOME!!!  I am also Pinteresting more. Mostly yoga and how to stretch this body when I am able to again. I can't wait to get back to yoga and working out.

Yes I will finish my stupid flower/rock/something bed I started. Can't get that far and just leave it. I am fairly certain that my thirst for curb appeal has been quenched and my yard is no longer in danger of being landscaped. Mowing and weed eating aside, if it ain't growing on its own it ain't growing in my yard :-)

Oh the things I have done!

As mentioned before this is not my first rodeo as far as living in the country. It has been so long since the first time I think I have forgotten everything I learned, or else I didn't learn anything. I can't remember  :-)
I do know that I was young (20ish) and we did not have dogs.

We moved to the country in August of 2013, since then I have learned a handful of things.

1. There are lots of spiders out there. By lots I mean GAZILLIONS and this must be the egg-sack carrying time of year. Please excuse me while I go throw up! Before you get all "they are good to have around" on me, I know this and I don't give a rip. I HATE them and want to ban them from my property! All 10.5 acres of it!!!

2. I am not opposed to picking up random body parts from cows, pigs, deer and other creatures I could not identify. If needed I will have a tug-o-war with said body parts to keep Talia from bringing them in the house. She hasn't carried anything new home in a couple weeks now. Strange...

3. I have a soft spot in my heart for turtles, snakes, snails, moles, skinks, frogs, anything that is NOT an arachnid, flea, tick, roach or june bug.

4. Because of said soft spot I will slam on my breaks to "rescue" a snake, turtle, frog, or whatever little creature I happen to see in distress.

Since living on the farm I have rescued 2 snakes, 2 frogs, 3 turtles, 1 praying mantis, multiple snails and 1 mole. Yes I said mole. I was torn, they screw up the yard but they are sooooo cute!

I was on the phone with the significant other and saw Truman and Talia in the front yard. I looked out the door in time to see Truman toss something in the air. "What the hell is that?" I said as I walked out the door. Truman dropped it and it was a mole. I am not sure if it was a child, teenager or adult as the amount of mole knowledge I have could fit in a thimble.  I keep the dogs from coming back to it and tell the other "gotta go and save a mole". I tried to corral it with my sock feet and get it back to where I thought it belonged. It kept going in circles. Apparently being blind and tossed around by dogs makes you act like you have just had a long enjoyable evening at the bar.

I decide that I need to pick him(I don't know how to tell what sex a mole is) up and carry him across the yard to a "safer" place where he can burrow in to one of the many mole holes already there. I reach down and gently touch the little sucker while talking to him in a calm voice explaining I am not going to hurt him. He did the holy hell don't kill me flip to his back and cover his face with his front webbed feet. Ok so I guess I will just pick him up. Worst case is he scratches me with his nails and pees on me. As I began to gather him in my hands he screamed! SCREAMED I tell you!!  Did you know moles screamed? I sure did NOT!

Well that is not going to work. I decided to go in an grab a dish towel to wrap him in. I get the dogs to go in the house, amazed they actually listen to me, and grab a towel. I went back out and wrapped him up and took him to where I thought he belonged. He did not scream so I think the dark in the towel may have made him feel safe. What do I know? I am not a mole psychologist.
I got the little guy over to some soft dirt and put him down, I watched for a bit until I saw a freaking arachnid run across the ground. I said F this!  Good luck little guy, hope you find your mole family.

He must be ok since I have not seen a mole carcass in the last few days!

Sweatpants & Mumus

While speaking with the significant other regarding my perceived failure of attaining my "goal" in physical fitness he sighed and said "why can't you just workout for fun (because I DO enjoy it) and let your body be what it is?"
WHAT?!?!? I looked at him like he sprouted a second and third head! Are you insane??? That is the DUMBEST thing I have heard from you in a while!
How is that even possible? I hated my body when it was at the peak of its physical fitness pinnacle!  I was an embarrassing 132 lbs (which is about 12 lbs more than I was used to) and a tiny pillar of solid muscle. I was wearing the smallest clothes I had worn in years and I was fit! Yet when I looked at myself, which I desperately avoid, I was still out of shape, fat, blech. So if I hate myself at the most fit I have ever been and probably ever will be how in the world does he think I can "let my body be what it is"???

While I appreciate the fact he loves me and if I have an extra few lbs on me he doesn't care it is also difficult because he is so accepting and I am not.

I put on a pair of jeans the other day that a couple of months ago were loose on me and I had to do the fat dance and wiggle to get them over my thighs and ass. Then I cried AGAIN! If you know me at all then you know crying pisses me off, it makes me feel weak. But here I am trying very hard to get to a goal and I am going in the WRONG F'ING DIRECTION!!!!!!

I am frustrated and angry and sick of hating this body that God so graciously gave me. Just because I want to be a willowy 5'9" or so doesn't mean I will EVER get there. I can't I am 5'5" and "athletic" built which to me means chubby.  

I think the significant other is just as tired of me hating myself. I try to avoid any conversation regarding me and my body with him. I know he will sigh and say they same things over and over. He is tired of saying it and I am tired of hearing it.

I hate shopping and this is why. I don't like to look in the mirror and you kind of have to when you try clothes on. Plus when I get to the fitting room I shrink 3 inches and gain 15 lbs. Think I am going to a pool party or boating with friends??? Hell NO!!! I was talking with a friend this morning after my run and decided I will live in sweatpants and mumus.
My mom will bling them for me then I can be a giant sparkly tent!

I hope you all have a great weekend and are headed in the RIGHT direction of your goals!