That is for another day unless I get back to it in a minute.
For ME fitness is about my physical health but also my spiritual health. MY spiritual health is equivalent to an 83 year old drinking, smoking biker chick with many scars from a life of chaos. Ok maybe she is more like 32 but LOOKS 83.
I have dipped my toes in the religion pool, testing the waters of several denominations. I settled in to the Catholic pool and converted several years ago. At the time it felt like home for me. As they years went by I started to feel worse AFTER church then I did before! What the heck father!!! I guess I took off my life jacket and submerged myself in the faith. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT dogging Catholics, their beliefs, their rituals, their church. I am simply stating that in MY opinion that specific teaching is very guilt based. I had plenty before I went to church I really did not need to add to my bucket!
I felt like I was drifting farther and farther from God instead of getting closer. No matter how hard I swam, flailing my arms and kicking my feet I kept getting swept down the river. It hurt. I was sad and disappointed and empty.
I stopped attending the church, unless I had to go for Dylan. I stopped kicking and flailing and let myself be swept away by the current of anxiety, grief, emptiness, and despair. I didn't really give up on a relationship with God but I did stop fighting for it.
I have started swimming again, dog paddling my way back through the muddy, painful waters (for you Princess Bride people it would be like getting out of the pit of despair or for you NeverEnding Story people it is the swamp of sadness). For me this means reading a daily devotional and when I start to feel like I am slipping back down the river I close my eyes and ask God to rescue me. He does!
Both types of fitness take a conscious effort. EVERY SINGLE DAY! From exercising your body to eating healthier to praying and spending time in the word. EVERY SINGLE DAY! I am NOT on a soapbox or screaming this from my ivory tower (that sucker burned down with my soapbox in it) I am merely stating that taking time out of every day to focus on fitness is important, do as I say not as I do! :-)
Ok really fast: I was training for a half marathon and would sometimes go to the gym and run the treadmill. I was on the one by the wall and there were several weight machines behind it. They were packed with hot guys (in my mind they keep getting hotter) and all the treadmills were being used. I was running next to the full-face make-up walker while reading a magazine chick. So I had hit a baby wall at about mile 5 or so and like I do while running outside I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep cleansing breath. I knew I was keeping up with the the treadmill pace I had set. After that one short second I opened my eyes and oh shit I was drifting off the back and to the side (wall side) so I stepped off (like a drunk trying to do the one leg stand during a car stop) and lost any balance I had and slammed my right side in to the wall. BAM!
Little miss make-up walker magazine reader looks over at me with a look of disgust as I am jumping back on the treadmill, I smile sheepishly then run the rest of my run with my head down. As soon as that sucker hit 6 miles I shut if off and sprinted to the door! I never used that treadmill again!
Happy fitnessing to you! (new word I just made up! You are welcome :-) )
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